Five Ways to Help Friends who Self Harm

                         I've been incognito for a while but high school has gotten increasingly overwhelming and challenging. It goes to say I did enroll in a program that is equally challenging and rewarding but WOW has the time has flown, and teenage life become more complex. First off I want to thank Blogger for being my blogger site since I was in the 6th grade. It truly is amazing and has been an amazing (inconsistent) journey but that's not the point. 

                        High school definitely has opened opportunities to meet friends from all aspects and walks of life, if you're willing enough. And that includes some friends who may or may not have a tendency to self-harm. This isn't a guide or a how-to deal with your friends or even expert advice on what to do but simply some suggestions to take the time and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 

              So to BEGIN. . .

1.) BE SENSITIVE

I seriously mean this!! That friend has trusted you enough to share their pain. However don't take over their burden but be there for them to support and guide them to healing. Listen to them and keep your word. You don't have to cry when they cry but if you give them your shoulder to cry on, it's worth more than any advice.

2.) URGE THEM TO TALK TO A TRUSTED ADULT

This can be extremely difficult for fear or being hated and so forth but remember, you will be helping them get the help that they deserve. Talking to parents can be intimidating or even cause overreactions so understand their household situation and reactions. Be careful at all times though to not be used by adults.

3.) UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE WON'T STOP

DO NOT burn yourself out and waste your energy thinking you can change them and neglect yourself in order to do so. This will impact you and your friend negatively and would do more harm than good. 

4.) STAY HOPEFUL AND POSITIVE. BELIEVE THAT ONE DAY THEY'LL BET BETTER

Never be a negative Nancy no matter the circumstances. You don't have to be happy all the time because we are human and have other emotions. Just because your friend may have a "worse" situation, never downplay your own feelings. You are strong enough through your never ending encouragement. 

5.) ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS, YOU'RE IMPORTANT TO YOURSELF, YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FRIENDS

I can't stress this enough... All that you do is great enough. You are there for your friend and are an amazing person for that. But don't forget to check on yourself and don't allow negative thoughts to come to take over your mind. You have to be a strong person to do this and if you too self-harm. Never forget how worthy you are no matter what that little voice says back at you. 

 Often times with dealing with those with self harm, you'll tend to forget about yourself and put all your energy into saving them and stopping them. You may even feel like you're there to listen to them but that no one is there to listen to you but never sweep your pain or hurt under the rug. And ESPECIALLY don't blow up on your friend who self harms, if you need to get your feelings out mutually talk. That's what friends are for. Friendship is never a one way street.

 If you are feeling depressed or suicidal in any way 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours everyday

or Chat

Your Life is Worth It!

Mother of four murders four year old son she thought was gay.

The title says it all as heart wrenching as it is, things like this occur everyday. The simple fact that she murdered her four year old. This case reminds me of an episode of "What would you do" when the father (male actor) tried to get other people to convince his son (child actor) to stop grabbing the barbies and go for the toy cars. Now from what I heard from other mothers (on the show) that playing with "girly toys" is a phase and it's best to let your sons and daughters experience both boy and girl toys and stuff. I remember when I was six all the way until I was ten I loved playing football, basketball, four square, gymnastics, wrestling, watching WWE, I definitely disliked skirts,dresses, cup bras,pink and everything associated with girly stuff. I was a tomboy and my mom allowed me to explore everything. Did I grow out of it yes all except for two sports and sports bras regular bras aren't my thing. What I'm trying to say is that how could she have know he was gay? Enough with my experience I must say this story is one of the many that brought me to tears. Just three hours ago the woman Dutro's now eight year old daughter testified. The four year old who was murdered name is Zachary he died August 2012. Dutro's boyfriend Brian Canady pleaded guilty to manslaughter to the first degree




"Zachary’s older sister told investigators that “Jessica and Brian” beat Zachary until he was sick. They knew he wasn't doing well, but they didn’t tell anyone, she said.
She also reported that she and her two preschool-aged brothers were put in timeout for long stretches. They were forced to “face the wall” with their hands in the air. If their arms dropped, she said, Dutro or Canady would hit them"
What the little girl said.
The girl and her two surviving brothers now live with Dutro’s relatives. "It's fun" she said







Information Sources:
 http://news.msn.com/crime-justice/prosecutor-mom-killed-son-she-perceived-to-be-gay
http://www.oregonlive.com/tigard/index.ssf/2014/03/jessica_dutros_8-year-old_daug.html#incart_river_default
 Pictures:
WCSO